mikedebillie

This whole new feeling!!

2008-09-23T17:01:21Z

Your love is the greatest things to me
I have seen it the day I met you
You are great most in everything
Allowed me to steal your heart forever
I have to thank God for bring you to me
Otherwise my life would have gone so lifeless
No matter the distance that keep us apart
but you are always will be secure in my heart
Sometime my words don't come out to easily
but my body language make you understand deeply
When you are in my arms like an angel
Cause, I feel all the world is belonging to me
I love you more than my poem can tell you
and wider than blue the sky hold you
Today you are in my heart and soul
and my love never can do without you

Love you Ryan! =)

Comfortable rest..

2008-07-12T03:26:59Z

I don't know you but I do know the curves of your face.
I know that being this close to you is a thrill to me.
I've been blinded by the color swirled in your eyes,
While in your arms as you take time to comfort me.
It's like as if everything has slowed down to a comfortable rest.

Its nice to have this again.

Sigh..

2008-05-12T17:59:46Z

My favorite grandma die this morning
2:18 am. PST

Really going to miss my nana..she was the central place everyone went to when they came into california.

Today Im off to california to the funeral this week. Man..hate this. hate death..but it always has to come. She lived a great life and took care of everyone.

God just got a wonderful woman. Love you Nana!!!

Ps. The whole time I knew my Nana..I took only one girl to meet her..and im just glad she got to meet one..wish i could of took just one more that i would be with forever..but its good to know nana liked the one i brought.

I should of known better...

2008-05-10T04:49:37Z

To fall for that BS you were giving me..

You lead me right into your trap.

And i went into it without even thinking..

Stupid Me....

Now I Know Better...

Never play That Fool Again!!

My Life...

2007-11-14T19:15:04Z

Is going to be decided tomorrow..
A lot is on my mind..
how do i express it?
Who do i tell now?
Will they listen or pretend?
Im just so scared
I want all this to be over and done with.
Could this be the last day??
Guess we will soon find out..

Im just so close to breaking down...
All i really need is a true hug from someone who really cares.

Fuck you!

2007-11-06T04:54:04Z

Bad weekend
And to top it off...
"we tried to call you"
My ass you did..
but fuck it.. go have fun!
this is all bullshit!

Out Of Time

2007-10-16T04:05:33Z

Was told she was leaving...
Once those words came out.. my heart die..

"why don't you want me to leave"

She asked.

I cant see me without you here next to me..
you are a big part of my life

Each Day that passes by, my time with you is gone.
And when she said those words.. i realized how much my..
well...still like being with you etc.

I hate knowing i need you

"I want you happy, and if this is what going to do it...then my time is done"
Now that i know.. i really got no choice but to really let these feeling go.
"Goodbye"

Go Away..

2007-10-11T10:07:13Z

Why won't you go away...

Been around way to long.

tired of all the BS
Make me happy already.

Dont got much left..

2007-08-24T11:35:01Z

Tired of feeling this way...

Tired of feeling so much for so little

Why cant i find you...

Make me better...

You are all i need...

Time of my life

2007-08-19T19:32:38Z

Yup Just like i said it.... i am having one of the best times of my life everyday lol...

Hanging out with a group of friends we like to call Team RamroD. We are getting ready for Beerfest and everyday we just hang out and chill , drink a nice cold bud light and just laugh.

I love these mofo's and they will always be my best friends .... thanks guys for letting me enjoy this experience with you .

Been a while

2007-07-23T21:01:53Z

7 Hours on the phone..

Been a long time since i talked that much with someone..

The end of the conversation was really interesting.. really..

Can't Wait till you come down and hang out with me..

Same time, Same place, See ya there.

Changes...

2007-07-21T10:13:44Z

Yay!!... well gues thats how i want to say it.,.

but yeah... awesome night with my friends but you know there is always a woman to ruin the moment,... but it was all good.. ill tell you why,

ok we were at the table chillin and bert said something crazy to me and "she" heard it and all of a sudden got so pissed off. i just laughed and told her it was bert and his crazy drunkin moments....

so later as we were driving.. she was ignoring me and i was asking what was wrong... but here was the really big change... i didnt yell or get upset about it... i was totally calm and patient about it... yeah go figure haha!! but i learned from my mistakes... but ne ways.. yeah i nevered yelled or said anything bad to make things worst.. but as i saw.. it was good to do all this cuz she came around and told me what was wrong and talked it out.. and it felt so good to just do that... you know?? Every now and then i think on how it would of been if i was like this sooner... but wasting my time thinking about that is like a retard trying to fit in... its fucked up but then i just dont give a fuck!!! PEACE!!

Battle I'll never win!

2007-07-10T13:26:18Z

Battle of wanting to go for it again... Battle of wanting to tell her how i feel and letting her know that I'm here standing in front of her eyes and uncovering the blindness that she has over them.
But is it going to be the right move? Is it the right time?
I just really want to go back and have a relationship knowing what i know now and give it everything i got, nothing for granted, just her and me vs the world. But now do i tell her? how will she respond? Do i want to tell her?? yeah of course i do, but then experiences in the past show that when i want to express something, i feel like I'm talking to myself. Will she be like this? I do got what my best friend Robert says "people feelings" for her, but what does she have for me? I want to know so bad, but then I know its for the best not to know for now. Time will tell on this but for now, I have surrendered and this battle i can never win.

Back in Effect!

2007-07-02T07:51:42Z

Been a long long time since i wrote on here, and to be honest, this didn't mean much cause I always wrote my thoughts on paper or in poems, but lately i have been having things on my mind and thought this be the best place to write them down. A good friend introduced me to this and i thank her for that. Other than that, just wanted to let you know that i am bring this back , and hope it helps with a lot of the thoughts and problems that are going on... not much problems but they are when its got me thinking a lot about crap that i shouldn't be.

Soooo Sick!!

2006-03-29T13:50:12Z

I been feeling really really horrible this week, i feel really sick and my body is so weak. I fell asleep real early last night and i kept having this stupid dream and i felt like i wasnt getting no sleep at all. Then to add on to that, i woke up at 6:30 am and i cant go back to sleep...and i got class at 10 =(.

And to my girlfriend, Im sorry, didnt mean for you to feel like to aint nothing, cuz you know damn well you are. I wasnt in the mood last night and i was so drugged up, all i wanted to do was sleep. Love you baby, and yes you are the best girlfriend in the whole world. Thanks for doing all the things you do for me, and yeah wish once again, you never feel like this, cuz i told you time and time again, all you say is not true.

My Grandma =(

2006-03-24T06:09:19Z

Just got the news today that my grandma (My Mom's Mom) is dieing and she might not make it through the night. I was pretty close to her, she took care of me when i was little. My mom is going to fly out to LA tomorrow morning to go see her and my dad is going out there too on friday after work.
Right now, my mind is all jacked up, i dont know what to do or what could i do? Keep my had up? Yeah i can try, but this is so much pain. I will be going home in the morning back to El Paso, and staying there for the weekend to see what happens and hopefully be able to go out and see her. If not, it will be ok i guess, I dont have the heart to see someone i love so much die. I got so much emotion in me right now, i dont know what to do. I guess ill go for a long walk outside and try to think things through.
Just wish she would be ok...but in life, it will happen to everyone and pain will come and go. But why now?

My first Time here!

2006-03-23T06:30:53Z

Ok, this is my first entry. My girlfriend Rachael told me to make one, and told it be a good idea to do this and put my thoughts on this, so yeah im going to try it. =)